Let's Get Together

    During the next few days, I am going to be writing about how to have a healthy and organized home.   I will be talking to moms in peticular. We have so much responsibility don't we?  We are mom, doctor, taxi driver, mediator, teacher, cook, and wife.  These are just a few of our many responsibilities.

     I want to help encourage you along this journey of parenting.  I also want to support you in being the best wife you can be. This week will be a time for us to talk woman to woman, wife to wife, & mother to mother.  I hope you enjoy the posts thus week!

Prayer

 

     Prayer is such an incredible thing.  We need to teach our children that talking with God is the best way to handle this life and to have a relationship with Him.  They need to see us praying.  We need to pray with them everyday. 

     There are many opportunities in which we can pray with them.  Before meals, as they get up in the morning, when they are having a bad day, when they are frightened, when their behavior is wrong, and when they go to bed are just a few examples.   Prayer is the most important way for them to cultivate a real relationship with God. 

    We also want to teach them how to pray.  It is not used for getting things we want.  It should be used to give thanks and glory to God.  We can ask for things like healing, needs and others, but our prayers should not be selfish.  We also need to pray that God's will be done, not ours. 

     Our challenge is to look for those great times where you can pray with your kiddos. 

Here are some verses on prayer:

1 John 5:14-15

    And this is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.

 

James 4:3

    You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.

Let's Get Silly

     When my first 3 children were little, I didn't think it was proper for a mom to be silly.  I thought my job was to stay in charge and to be firm.  I thought if I got on the floor and just played, they wouldn't see me as an authority figure anymore.  Boy do I regret that!  When I finally grew up myself, I figured out that it was okay to get silly with my kids.  They knew I was mom and that they needed to obey and respect me, but they also saw that I could play with them. 

      We need to put everything aside and just let go of ourselves some days.  We need to let our hair down and allow our children to see us enjoying life with them.  My kiddos love it when I chase them, catch them and swing them around the room.  Their laughs are so contagious that soon we are all on the floor laughing so hard we are in tears. 

     My husband is great at doing this.  He makes funny faces with our daughters who enjoy just having fun and taking funny pictures.  He gets on the floor and wrestles with the boys.  He sits and draws and paints with the kids who enjoy doing that.  I love watching him as he enjoys being a dad. 

     It is a bit harder for me, but I have learned it is important so I try my best.  I am very work orientated.  I like to work, work and work, but my kids need to see me putting them first and one need of theirs I need to meet is FUN!  Once I start playing, I enjoy it.  I enjoy being their mommy and giggling with them.  We all need this time! 

     I challenge you to play with your kids everyday.  Put everything else aside and have some FUN!!!!

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed 

spirit dries up the bones. ~ Proverbs 17:22

Most Days I Feel Like a Broken Record

     If you have or have had a toddler, then you will most likely find yourself nodding your head as you read this post. For those of you who have yet to encounter toddlerhood, please consider this to just be my opinion. But I also hope to leave you with helpful information --- information I wish someone would have given me. Of course, even knowing what to expect can’t really prepare you for how difficult the toddler phase of parenting is. Sleepless nights with an infant are nothing in comparison to teaching a toddler how to be obedient. Sometimes it seems as if you are jumping hurdles in a track and field race. Other times it’s like you are a broken record, stuck on repeat. Just when you think you have figured out how to teach a specific lesson, they defy you and you are back to square one. 

 

     I am struck by the irony that I, who has a very authoritative view of parenting-one that I am sure Mary and Joseph didn't use with Jesus, was asked to write about an aspect of parenting that has been my weakest so far. When my son Wyatt entered the toddler age, I yearned to be able to use Love and Logic. It seemed so…well, logical. I have read countless books on ways to parent in a way that combines authoritative with passive, but I find myself constantly reverting back to my old tendencies. But then I came to the basic conclusion that the most important lesson for us to teach Wyatt about obeying one's parents is that he must "honor thy mother and father." That commandment was ingrained in me as a child, and I have always followed it very well, myself. In Ephesians 6:2-4 it states, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the Earth. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."   It was after reading those verses that I realized I need to find ways to model to my children how to honor and respect the rules of our household in a way that honors the Lord. 

 

     My first goal was to simply teach Wyatt what the word “obey” meant in our house. And then we made it a family rule. Next, I realized that the verses were encouraging my husband and me to not discipline out of anger. This meant we needed to learn to take a step back, maybe even a deep breath, and decide what the consequence should be so that Wyatt --- and now our daughter Scarlett --- know not only what is expected of them, but what happens when they disobey. We decided that giving warnings with a gentle voice would suffice at first. So, the first time the children disobey, we get down at their level, look them in the eyes, and calmly state what they did that needs to be improved. We ask if they understand and hope they say "yes." But, as I said earlier, toddlerhood is challenging. So, oftentimes, the rule is disobeyed for a second time. At this point, I set the tone of voice to “firm.” Not in a way that ridicules or conveys disappointment, but lets them know that the behavior is unacceptable. At this point, sometimes we realize the child needs to be removed from the situation and go immediately to time-out. Other times, we allow the child to try again to correct his or her behavior. Now, because toddlers like to push their limits (well, children of any age, really), the behavior may not get better. That is when we employ a logical consequence. This could be taking something away, giving a longer time-out, or giving a delayed consequence. For a child with a Type-A personality, this is very effective because they expect an immediate consequence, and when mom or dad has time to ruminate on discipline options, it could be a worse punishment than usual.

 

     Of course, as with every stage of parenting, there is a learning curve, and we parents need to allow ourselves a certain measure of grace as we deal with the challenges of teaching toddlers to obey. The important thing is to teach our children what God wants all of His children to know: that even though honoring our father and mother is the right thing to do, and disobedience often comes with consequences, it doesn’t diminish our love for them. 

Today's post was written by: Michelle Wiest 

 

I'm Michelle Wiest, mother to Wyatt and Scarlett. I have always wanted to be a mother and am so blessed that my desire to be not only a mom, but a stay at home mom, was able to come true. I am a former Middle School Language Arts teacher so I have always taught others to write but never

 really tried myself. I'm so elated to have the chance to combine my love for God's

 word with my love for writing.

    

Encouraging Your Child's Dreams

     As parents it is our job to encourage our children to pursue their hobbies and gifts that the Lord has given to them.  Our daughter took a real interest in the guitar a few years ago, and so we invested in her.  We bought her a guitar and we paid for lessons.  Now she is praying about becoming a worship leader once she graduates in May of this year. 

     God has a plan for our children and we are responsible to Him to see that we help them pray about where He is sending them and what field He is calling them to.  We must guide them and support them in the decisions they make.  We can not force our dreams on them.  God has a good future planned for our kids and we need to teach them to listen to Him as they make decisions, we then need to trust we have done our job and let them decide to do what they feel they are being led to do.

     Each child has gifts.  We need to cultivate those gifts with whatever means we have.  Most of all we need to pray that God will guide us as we train and teach them to Walk with Him.

 

Raising Content Children

     Contentment has always been a hard issue for me. When I arrived to the jungle of Venezuela 8 years ago I had to learn to be content with the few things I had. During the firsts months in Amazonas I couldn’t stop comparing my old life in Spain, my home country, with my new life. Until I understood the meaning of 1Timothy 6:8 - “But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.” 

     I started to visit some Indian villages and saw that many of these people did not have food or clothing. I took my eyes out of myself and was able to see, to really see, how precious things like food and clothes were to other people… the very same things I took for granted… At that time I felt so miserable for complaining for not having a big kitchen or a microwave!  

     After all these years in which the Lord has been working on me in this area I came up with some ideas to raise my children to be content whatever the situation might be, I pray that you can use any of them too. 

      - Be an example to your kids. Contentment starts with you. If they hear you complain about everything and express your frustration for not having all you’d like to have, they will imitate you and start complaining and asking for things too. - Focus in all the non-material things they have. Things like health, family, love, friends, hugs, church, school, playmates… 

      - Help them show gratitude for the “big things” but also for everyday miracles. Be thankful for the food, for having a cozy bed at night or be able to get a warm bath. - Share with others who have less than we have.  Visit an orphanage, ask your kids to go through their clothes, toys and books and donate them, be a part of organizations like Operation Christmas child or Compassion International. 
     
      - Don’t give them everything they ask for. As moms, we want to give out children the best. But… do they really need all they ask for? I don’t think so. 

     Contentment can be a struggle for us and for our children. Let’s invest time in teaching them how to be content with what they have! These are just some ideas, is there any other way you teach your children about contentment? Please share it! 

Content in His service, 
Edurne

BIO – Edurne Mencía de Nieves is a wife and mom from Spain serving God as a missionary to tribes in the jungle of Venezuela. She met her husband Maracucho at Word of Life Bible Institute in Argentina and they have 3 little children (Yennixon, 6, Nahiara, 4, and Markel, 2). She blogs in Spanish in Elviajedeunamujer.com and co-leads the Spanish section of Good Morning Girls at BuenDiaChicas.com.

Can You Hear Me?

     When I was a young mom, I tended to scream more than I talked.  I wasn't aware that eventually my kids would just literally tune me out.  It is a defense mechanism.  When someone is yelling at you all the time, your ears just turn off. 

     As parents, I know how hard it is to keep a quiet voice when you are so very frustrated with the behavior of your children, but we really need to work on it. The Lord will speak to us in many ways, but most of the time it is through the Holy Spirit. In order for our children to learn how to listen for His Voice, they must first learn how to listen for ours. 

     When you are aggravated, take a time out.  Get your thoughts and words together before speaking.  Once you have yourself under control, you are then ready to get your child under control.  When you talk with your child, get down to his/her level and have them look you in the eyes.  Speak to them in quiet, but firm voice.  Allow them to know their behavior was unacceptable by the tone not volume of your voice. 

     I am going to be working with this challenge alongside of you.  I know I need improvement in this area, as I am sure most of us do.  We want our children to love and respect us.  They need to see us obeying God's Word daily and this means we have to have self-control with our emotions and in what we say.  We need them to listen so we can properly instruct them to do what is right. 

Hear, my son, your father's instruction, And do not forsake

 your mother's teaching. ~Proverbs 1:8

Family Meals

    Growing up in a large family meant huge family dinners every night. It was a time to sit down, relax, and talk as we ate together.  Most of my favorite memories happened at our kitchen table during meals.

     In a world where we are on the go constantly and the world is at our fingertips, we sometimes lose touch with the simple things like eating a meal together as a family.  We are usually on our phones, iPads, or watching tv while eating.  Our challenge for today is to step back into a simpler time, and put our electronic devices away, and eat at least one family meal together each day for at least one week.  I can almost guarantee if you start this, you won't want to stop.

      As you sit down together, take time to really listen to one another.  Go around the table and ask each child a different question. Have fun with it!!!

One of Those Days

     "AHHHH!" I screamed. I slammed the bedroom door shut, praying my toddler was not close behind. My daugher had fought her nap all afternoon and I had so much to do - including fit in some much needed time in God's Word. I had tried several times to lay her down, but to no avail. My anger was mounting and I had to escape for an adult time out while Emma was occupied with her favorite TV show. Foot swiftly connected to a nearby trunk, in a vain hope that the act would release some pent up aggression. As you probably can guess, it was misguided. Instead I felt worse, and a little lost, as I surveyed the damage upon the helpless furniture - and my own soul. I thrust myself upon the bed and buried my face into the comforter and cried out to Jesus. While I cannot recall my exact words, the prayer went something to this effect: "Lord, help me, please. My plans have been changed and I am upset AGAIN! Help me to let go of my anger and forgive my selfishness, please." 

     With prayer and the support of a friend or two, I rose up, left my bedroom, and faced my child and my home once more that day. It wasn't the last time I felt frustrated over altered plans, but it was a wake up call that I needed to face my issues in this area. There's been a few layers which God has been peeling away, but victory began to come with this scripture:

 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy."

 -Proverbs 13:12, NLT 

     That was it - the initial answer to my plight. I was getting my hopes set on my plans, and when someone made a mess of them - I was becoming spiritually heartsick. I quickly spiraled into anger or fear and became stressed. On the flip side, if everything went according to Mama's schedule, no one could be happier! I don't know about you, but I thrive on control. I heart order, a schedule, a plan. I can make an agenda with the best of them and, with joyful abandon, cross every "t" and dot every "i." Unfortunately, when I do, that plan tends to get my heart. The actual plan is not the problem. God is not against me creating a schedule to the best of my knowledge and ability - after all, He gave me that gift. In fact, He acknowledges that mankind in general tends to be full of plans in the Word! 

You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail."  -Proverbs 19:21, NLT

     Note: the good Lord doesn't censor a good plan. (Check out Luke 14:28) There is a place for it in His kingdom. However, even the best laid plans must be framed with a very important phrase: "If the LORD will.." (James 4:15) If I keep this thought in mind as I create my to do list, I tend to avoid my precious schedule being so close to my heart. I become a more relaxed, flexible mom - even when my tasks are delayed - sometimes multiple times! - by my sweet preschooler. After all, isn't it my daughter, the soul whom God has entrusted me with, more important than my best laid plans? Shouldn't Emma and God's plan for her rule the day? Isn't that what will truly last in eternity - not my clean house or a perfectly executed Pinterest craft, but the difference I made as a mom upon my daughter's soul?  

     I believe it will! And if you share my struggle, I pray these words were able to encourage you and help you reframe, in a positive manner, those days in where the agenda goes awry.

      Dear Lord, help us not to cling so tightly to our plans. Let us focus on Your will above our own, trusting that everything and anything that needs to be accomplished will get done.Grant us willing, flexible spirits in this. In Jesus' awesome and holy Name, Amen!

This post has been contributed by Elizabeth Hamm.  

Elizabeth Hamm is mommy to vivacious three year old Emma and wife to Kevin, her loving, supportive husband of 8 years. She is a graphic designer by day and by night, a woman with a passion for the pen and voracious love for God's Word. She credits her strength to the grace of God and her daily cup o' joe. Say hello to Elizabeth at lizhamm01@yahoo.com.