Your kids are watching

   Sometimes we underestimate the influence our marriage relationship has in our children. Kids are watching. All. the. time. They are watching you in the good times…but also in the bad ones and we are their main influence in every aspect of our lives, including marriage.

    I had read Proverbs 31 like a zillion times, but I never realized of the fact that it is a part of a conversation between a mother and her son until I studied it with Courtney Joseph´s The Proverbs 31 Woman – One virtue at a time (link - http://womenlivingwell.org/free-proverbs-31-ebook/ ) ebook. Was it only me? Probably. But all the chapter took a different perspective after I noticed it.

Proverbs 31:1

“The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.”

    This mother was intentional about giving his son, the king, a lot of advices about how he should govern (Pr 31:2-9) and how his future wife should be (Pr 31: 10-31). So, this cherished Scripture not only puts a high standard on how to be a godly woman, wife and mother, but also on how to be intentional in modeling it to our children.

     Our children, our tiny little kids, are tomorrow´s husbands and wives. And, as I said before, they are watching. That´s why I think we should follow the example of king Lemuel´s mother and be intentional in what and how we are role models of a godly marriage for our children.

    I´ll be honest: I am going to mention the three main aspects I struggle with the most in my own marriage, the things in which I know I should be more intentional in role modeling to my kids. I pray you can relate to any of them.

Our relationship with God

    It is important that my children see me praying, reading and studying my Bible, attending to church, doing ministry…as important as to see their dad doing it. But it is crucial that they see both of us worshiping, praying, reading God´s Word and serving in ministry together.

   Jesus is the center of our marriage, the center of our family and we have to show it to our children, not just tell them. It took time and a lot of prayer for my husband and I to adjust to each other in the spiritual aspect of our marriage…but we are improving in that area day after day, year after year.

Our love and respect to each other

    I am not proud to say that there were times when our children saw us arguing more than displaying our love towards each other. I remember once seeing my oldest son when he was 2 or 3 years old (he is 7 now) staring at us with his hands in his ears as we were having a too loud argument. My heart broke into pieces. Since that moment I decided that I would not raise my voice when arguing and that I would show respect, kindness and love to my husband even when we have a disagreement.

    It is crucial what our children hear from us regarding our husbands. What is coming out of my mouth? Praise, grace and comprehension or bitterness, sarcasm and complaints? I want my kids to hear often that I tell their dad things like: I love you, I treasure you, forgive me, I´m sorry, I understand,  let´s pray for this…

Our service

    My husband and I have a very different sphere of serving. We are missionaries in the jungle of Venezuela. Well, actually, I feel like he is the missionary, the one that comes and goes, makes trips, takes the gospel to the Indian villages, makes conferences… and I am just a wife and a mom that happens to live in the jungle with her missionary husband. My main ministry is at home, with my family, and I also serve God online and at our home church as a Sunday school teacher.

    My children don´t have many opportunities to see us serve together. And yet, I never stop telling them that we are a team. We work together, always and no matter what. But still they see their daddy leave to his missionary trips while we stay at home.

    In order to be intentional in this, we try to dream together, plan together and pray together for our service to the Lord with tribes as much as we can. He has delegated on me all the communication aspect of our ministry, so we are constantly talking, making plans and committing them to the Lord. And when my husband leaves, I have to remember myself that we ARE a team and I use to gather my children to pray for his daddy and make them (make me!!!) feel we are an important part of this team.

    We are an example about marriage to our children. You have to stop, pray and think about the areas of your marriage in which you are being a positive role model to your children and the ones in which you are being a negative role model for them.

    They are watching. They are listening. And they are growing up much faster than you think. Are you being a negative model to your children in any specific area of your marriage? If you want to share it, I´d love to pray for you today.

“God intends and expects marriage to be a lifetime commitment between a man and a woman, based on the principles of biblical love. The relationship between Jesus Christ and His church is the supreme example of the committed love that a husband and wife are to follow in their relationship with each other.”  ~ John C. Broger 

Content in His service,

Edurne

BIO – Edurne Mencía de Nieves is a wife and mom from Spain serving God as a missionary to tribes in the jungle of Venezuela. She met her husband Maracucho at Word of Life Bible Institute in Argentina and they have 3 little children (Yennixon, 6, Nahiara, 4, and Markel, 2). She blogs in Spanish in Elviajedeunamujer.com and co-leads the Spanish section of  LGG Spanish   www.amaadiosgrandemente.com