In our culture, we frequently talk about "making"more time for the people God has brought into our lives - namely, our family. This is a common topic particularly among us moms in this busy American culture. I remember discussing the concept of time once with my Mom.
"Wouldn't it be great if we had an extra hour each day?" she sighed. "I wonder why God gave us 24 and not 25 hours a day."
"Yeah,"I agreed. "That would nice." Then the proverbial lightbulb flashed. "But then again, if He gave us 25, we would be wishing for 26. We would always find a way to fill our time and wish for more. He knows what we can handle."
While those may not be our exact words, that was the gist of the conversation. God has entrusted us with only a certain amount of time on earth, and it is up to us to manage it to the best of our ability! He didn't give us more because He knew that 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year was enough time for us to accomplish His will for our lives. Even when it doesn't feel like it. Even when the schedule feels packed. Even when we have to-do lists that run off our daily planner. Even when the voicemails and texts pile up. God has given us what we need to do His will, however short the time may seem.
Beyond the task lists, there comes the relationships in our lives that God has placed there - particularly, our husbands and wonderful children. We know time is needed to develop and nourish those relationships - which is a precious commodity, indeed. But how, exactly, are we supposed to squeeze in relaxed, fun, quality time - in the midst of all the hustle bustle we are engaged in?
Perhaps now would be a good moment to inject a valuable prayer from God's Word:
"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12 ESV)
This was a prayer straight from the lips of Moses - but to me, it might as well be my own. It is a conflict I am regularly engaged in, and I am sure many of you mamas out there are with me. My heart cries out to play with my child, but my practical side says, "We have to get this or that done. And then we have to be at this place at such and such time." What's a mother to do? I don't have all the answers, but I will share what I have gleaned over the last few years in hopes of helping you!
1) Ask yourself: "What's priority? What is a want, and what is a need?"
I often ask myself this question. I am a very task oriented, scheduled person, and can easily get lost in the agenda I have set. Planning is good, but be careful of going overboard. If you are a person like me, who thrives on order and task lists, consider this one simple step: throw that to-do list out the window! I had to do this. I would get a task list formed and even rated by numbers or stars what was most important. What filled my list? Was it people? NO. It was laundry. It was errands. It was housework. None of them evil in themselves. But, I was so stuck on my list that I ignored what was upmost importance: my husband. My daughter. As author Lysa TerKeurst so eloquently put it: "I want to make sure it's people, not projects, that occupy the sacred spaces of my heart." So, my typical tactic now? Lower standards. A realistic plan. Scheduled time with my family on the mental check list. Hence, an evening may go something like this: "Tasks A and B MUST be done for tomorrow. I will aim to spend 30 minutes playing with Emma before bed. I need to read her that book I promised her when I tuck her in, and relax with Kevin after she is down. If I have a little extra time, I will try to do task C." Long to-do lists are no longer the norm.
2) Question #2 for busy mamas (is there any mama NOT busy?): "What am I saying yes to that I should be saying no too? What I am giving myself to outside of my home that is, in reality, stealing valuable time and energy from my family?"
You may have noticed my earlier quote from Lysa TerKeurst is from her latest book, "The Best Yes." But long before this book came out, God was dealing with me on the very issues Lysa tackles in her book. I was overcommitted. I was a yes woman. I felt I had to take on a bunch of projects to please God. I had to begin to embrace the power of no and realize that it is ok to use this empowering word. And hey, God says it is ok! Mt. 5:37 states, "Let what you say be simply 'Yes" or "No;' anything more than this comes from evil." When I begin to be more realistic on what I could be committed to, putting boundaries on my time and allowing margin in my schedule, I was surprised at how God simplified my life and the time that began to open up to play dolls with my child, go golfing with my husband, and meet up for a birthday dinner for Mom. The house that God had called me to care for begin to flourish, as well. And I could juggle all of these things with peace of mind!
3) Let. it. go.
No, I am not quoting Frozen's hit song - not on purpose, anyway, although it certainly is apt! Let go of your ideals. Trade them for God's best. Abandon perfection - embrace your humanity. Don't try to do it all - be ok with the fact that you are a human being who is limited in time, energy, and effort. (Sing with me - "The perfect girl is GONE!" with glee!) Your house will not be clean all the time. You don't have to be involved in everything coming and going. You don't have to go to every party or get together. Let go of the image America has placed before us of the ideal woman, who juggles it all, is always busy, busy, busy, yet does it all well. That person doesn't exist. Lay down that worldly image so that you can enjoy a moment of old fashioned catch with your budding ball player. Let the dust bunnies grow, let someone else head up that committee God didn't call you to anyway, so you can sip imaginary tea out of plastic pink cups with your little princess or take your spouse out for an afternoon stroll.
Trade the task list for what really matters - ahem, WHO really matters - because life is too short to miss out on all the wonderful relationships God has placed in our lives.
"Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." (James 4:13-14 ESV)
Elizabeth Hamm is mommy to vivacious three year old Emma and wife to Kevin, her loving, supportive husband of 8 years. She is a graphic designer by day and by night, a woman with a passion for the pen and voracious love for God's Word. She credits her strength to the grace of God and her daily cup o' joe. Say hello to Elizabeth at lizhamm01@yahoo.com.
No comments:
Post a Comment