The love of God cannot be comprehended by the human mind - it is far too vast. It is like asking a child to count the grains of sand on the shore or swallow the waves of sea. As we know from these familiar analogies, it simply cannot be done. So, instead of exhausting ourselves with these foolish tasks, we spread out our beach towel, soak up the sun and enjoy the soft sand between our fingers and the licking waters swirling around our toes. We don't try to take on these wonders of creation, bottle them up or tame them them - we just enjoy them. I believe we have to approach God's compassion in the same way. We can't measure it or confine it - no matter how many hours we meditate on it or comb the Bible. At some point, we just need to let go and enjoy it. Bask in it. Open up our heart and minds and let God immerse us in His kindness, instead of trying to make it intellectually make sense to us or fit into our limited experience of love.
I have been there, over and over again. Oh, how I tried to make God's compassion for me make sense. Foolishly, I endeavored to earn it and fearfully, I tried to define the lines that, if crossed, would cause His love to cease. In recent months, I have abandoned the striving and erased all the lines imposed upon me by my own perfectionism and the trappings of religion. The straightfoward fact is this: God's love is LIMITLESS.
"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever." (Psalms 136:1 NLT)
I'm kind of partial to the Message version of this scripture as well, which bluntly puts that last part: "His love never quits." I absolutely adore that! It ministers to the depths of me, which for so long wrestled with the acceptance of God. I always thought - and was even taught for many years - that His love was contingent on my performance. If I failed, struggled, and sinned enough - God would no longer receive me and care about me. I lived under the shadow of a God whom I perceived was scrutinizing my every fault and waiting for me to fall. I wondered when He would abandon me. The pressure spurred both bouts of anxiety and anger. I was breaking down as a human being.
When I came into mamahood, I began to realize God's unconditional love in a new way, as I felt great compassion for my little bundle of joy. However, it was just the start. I still had much to learn when it came to wholeheartedly embracing His love. Little did I realize how much it was hindering me from being the mother God created me to be. I knew I loved my little girl, Emma, with all of my heart. Yet I found myself frequently upset with her, for various reasons. Maybe she blatantly ignored my command. Perhaps she accidentally spilled her food. Or interrupted my plans. Or disrupted my day with a bad mood or a temper tantrum. Kids can test our love walk in a myriad of ways! Sometimes I passed the test, but not as I often as I wanted to. I would repent and condemn and beat myself up and resolve to react better the next time, only to inevitably fall into the same trap once more.
What was the antidote to my dilemma? It wasn't harshly demanding self to do better. It was receiving the endless, patient, gracious, forgiving love of God. I had to remove the limits off of His love for me, and when I found the courage to do this, I uncovered a pleasant surprise: the limitations on my love for Emma began to fall away. I experienced peace even when she threw a royal fit. I found joy even if she was moody and irritable all day - over the smallest of issues. I could discipline with wisdom when she crossed the line. I was fully released to exhibit the love of God in my heart for her - because I was finally receiving it for myself.
As our trusty Bible tells us: "Love your neighbor as yourself." - Matthew 22:39, NLT
Grant me the liberty to rephrase this so you can see it with new eyes: "Love yourself, so you can love your neighbor." The amount to which you receive and accept yourself directly correlates to the amount you will accept your neighbor. Especially small neighbors in very close proximity to you - i.e. those living in your own humble abode. Whether they came by your own womb or another's, these growing, developing neighbors can sometimes present the greatest challenge to practically walking out God's awesome loving kindness. Don't attack yourself if you fail. Dust yourself up and accept God's forgiveness and get back at it. He loves you, He will never leave you or forsake you, and you CAN do it. (Phil. 4:13)
Mama, you are an awesome creation of God and, what's more, He loves you. He delights in you. He accepts you. Let these truths permeate your heart and free you to enjoy and care for your little neighbor in a way like never before. Amen.
This post has been written my Elizabeth Hamm
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